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Thursday 24 January 2008

I'm going on Holiday

I am soooooo tired at the moment due to a certain hubbie's snoring and sleeplessness in general. It is making me ill and I need a break. I want to press the pause button for a bit and so I have booked a week's pause in Tenerife.

I am going on my own which will be a first and fly off on the 1st of February which seems a way off, but I am sure will come very quickly. At the moment I can only sleep if I have had a couple of glasses of wine and am knocked out, but that isn't a long term solution, nor is it a solution that I particularly want anyway.

Whilst I am so tired I can feel myself becoming mentally unwravelled and can feel old wounds being opened that I honestly thought were healed, and healed very well too. It hasn't been helped that I read a particular book from the survivor of childhood sexual abuse that upset me greatly and made me question some decisions that I made a few years ago. The last week in particular has been very upsetting and emotional and I want to run away from everything.

For the 1st time ever I am putting myself first, and whilst part of me feels guilty for doing that, another part of me is really excited about having some time to myself to do what I want and to catch some rays at the same time. This will be the longest I have EVER been on my own, and I have never been away from home on my own so that will be an achievement in itself.

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